Living proof

The women in Matthew Pons' analysis class were crushing it. He saw them putting in the time to work through lots of problems, ask questions, share ideas, and seek out help when they needed it. But as he spoke to them one day he realized with some surprise that they didn't feel like they were crushing it. In fact, they felt like they were barely surviving. Matthew gave them a pep talk. He let them in on the secret that everyone struggles in math, even their brilliant professors who have PhDs in the subject. But they didn’t believe him. Was it because he was their professor and they figured he was just trying to be nice? Was it because he was a man and couldn’t possibly understand the self-doubt women face after years of being underestimated simply because of their gender? This got Matthew thinking: “Who would they believe?”

That’s when the idea for Living Proof was born. Living Proof: Stories of Resilience Along the Mathematical Journey is a book that was published in 2019 jointly by the MAA and the AMS (available for free download). It is a collection of stories written by 41 highly-successful mathematicians about issues they’ve grappled with in their math education or careers and how they’ve responded to these challenges. These are the stories that do not often get told out loud. They are whispered, usually among friends, or in places where someone feels safe to let their guard down. Some are about struggling to understand mathematical concepts, feeling isolated and losing confidence. Some are stories that shine a light on the racism and sexism marginalized mathematicians in our community have experienced. Every author’s journey includes obstacles overcome. Some have helpful and hopeful messages, while others still stand as a challenge to the math community to do a better job welcoming and supporting anyone who has an interest in mathematics.

While the narratives shared in the Living Proof book represent a wide range of experiences, we knew that there were still so many stories to share. So, in the Fall of 2019, we launched the Living Proof blog, hosted by the AMS. There, many more mathematicians shared their personal stories of hardship and triumph. Students wrote about the difficulty of learning during the pandemic and the importance of remembering why they “fell in love with math in the first place” to help them get through it. Professors shared the novel challenges of teaching in a pandemic, often with greatly increased demands at home. Some gave examples of how the shift to remote instruction provided some unexpected benefits and broadened technological skill sets; others reflected on the emotional burdens, and emotional connections, of supporting students during this upheaval. Some stories from the AMS blog highlighted how a supportive departmental community could make all the difference in helping someone achieve their goals, while others described how doing mathematics could provide a “safe space” for people as they faced personal challenges in their lives. Each narrative was as unique as the person telling it.

Recently, the AMS made the decision to end its hosting of blogs. Since there are still so many voices we need to hear, we are delighted to find a new home at the MAA in Math Values. Each month, another member of our community will share how they are Living Proof that it is possible to find a path to fulfilling one’s goals—and even thriving—in this community. These narratives will continue to help us identify how we can improve. They will also help us to discover the incredible strengths we have to build on. We hope you’ll join us.

Here, we share with you a catalog of our blog posts from the AMS Living Proof blog.

October 2021 - Gordon Ernest Keller 

Jen Bowen writes a tribute to her PhD advisor who passed away when she was in graduate school and who asked a friend, as a dying wish, to mentor Jen through the successful defense of her dissertation.

September 2021 - A view of mathematics from behind the veil

In this unabridged version of Robin Wilson’s story from the Living Proof book, he describes how a racist incident at Berkeley—and the culture that normalized such incidents—made him feel like an outsider.

September 2021 - How challenging experiences led me to pursue a PhD in mathematics

Shanise Walker opens up about how one racist math education community’s loss was another welcoming and supportive math community’s gain.

August 2021 - Encounters with Gatekeepers

Jen Bowen, Allison Henrich, and Chawne Kimber write of the negative impact gatekeepers can have on people’s journeys to becoming a mathematician.

August 2021 - Turning a Passion for Pints into Perseverance

Matthew Fields describes how after years of failing his algebra classes, he was inspired by his passion for beer brewing to learn—and love!—mathematics.

July 2021 - Bad Handwriting in an Artist’s World

Isaac Weiss recounts how dysgraphia profoundly impacted his educational experience and how LaTeX was a liberating tool for communicating mathematics.

June 2021 - Homeless for the General

Jeff Brown shares the story of how he took the most significant exam of his educational career while experiencing homelessness.

May 2021 - The Qual

Dana Williams recounts the stressful situation of taking his algebra qualifying exam in hopes of receiving funding. He reflects on how that perspective has helped him support students while giving quals.

April 2021 - False Starts

Tiffany Eaton shares how anxiety during an oral qualifying exam led her to discover a better career fit for her and a new interest in actuarial science.

April 2021 - What's your biggest academic or professional moment?

Houssein El Turkey reflects on how his experience advocating for himself as a student influences how he advocates for his students.

March 2021 - Why passing my oral examination felt like a failure

AJ Stewart examines what qualifies someone as a mathematician, how his definition differs from others, and how that played into feeling like a failure even though he passed his oral examination in grad school.

March 2021 - Leaving is an option

Jen Townsend discusses her decision to stop at her Master’s degree and her realization that she could fail to get a PhD and not be a failure. She also gives compassionate advice to others who may be considering leaving academia.

February 2021 - How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Chaos

Robin Blankenship tells the story of how a chance encounter during a moment of frustration and hopelessness led to a Master’s degree in a new and different area of mathematics. (In other words, to quote Rihanna, she “found love in a hopeless place.”)

January 2021 - Sometimes Failing is Part of the Process

Michael Bush shares how failure helped him to stop asking himself “Am I good at math?” and started asking himself “Do I enjoy mathematics and want to continue studying it?”

December 2020 - Balancing the Love-Math Equation

An anonymous contributor takes us through the struggles they faced being in an unhealthy relationship while in graduate school and how they learned to balance between their personal life and career, making sure to put their needs and desires before others.

November 2020 - Celebrating Women in Mathematics

Rangel Tracy and Oscar Vega highlight that The Association for Women in Mathematics (AWM) turned 50! To celebrate, a commemorative deck of cards has been created featuring portraits and short bios of 64 exceptional women mathematicians.

October 2020 - The Best and the Brightest

Pamela Pierce fell in love with math early, but she was discouraged when she did not qualify to write an undergraduate thesis. She shares how she persevered through challenging times to find her place in mathematics as a college professor.

September 2020 - Liverworts, Nuclear Waste, and Parenting: Unexpected Connections During Virtual Teaching

Dominic Klyve finds a bright spot in remote teaching, building on a surprise expert’s contribution to his History of Science class.

August 2020 - The Takeaways

Rachel Vale was sure by 4th grade that she did not have a “math brain” and even had math-themed nightmares. She shares her story of becoming a mathematician and finding her dream job teaching math to others who might dread it.

July 2020 - Uncertainty, Exhaustion, and Disbelief

Jennifer Quinn unpacks these three benchmark emotions from her experience teaching in Spring 2020.

June 2020 - Teaching Using Living Proof

Blog editors Allison Henrich & Matthew Pons share insights from professors who have used Living Proof: Stories of Resilience Along the Mathematical Journey in their teaching.

June 2020 - My Living Proof Story

Michael Dorff brings us through some of the trials he faced after he traveled with his family across the world to begin a graduate program in math, where support (financial and otherwise) was hard to come by.

May 2020 - Remember Why You Started

Allyson Hahn and Vien Ho share some of their experiences as undergraduates adapting to learning in a pandemic environment.

April 2020 - To All the Minhyes out There: Walking through an Unconventional Journey

Minhye Lee reflects on the successes and struggles of being a language learner and how she cultivated a love of mathematics.

March 2020 - Persevere and Succeed 

Jeanette Shakalli recounts her experiences as an exceptional student growing up and the shock of failing a calculus exam in college. By examining this failure, she helps remind us that failure is not the opposite of success and is often just one step along the way to success.

March 2020 - Finding my Niche 

Allison Henrich discusses how she found her place in the mathematical research community by giving herself permission to work on projects she finds interesting and with collaborators who are inspiring and fun to be around.

February 2020 - Grad School and the NICU

Julie Skinner Sutton takes us through the highs and lows of pregnancy during graduate school and explains how her department provided support and flexibility during a very difficult time in her life.

February 2020 - Helping Other Women, Helping Myself

Amy Prager shares how her own experiences with sexism and gender discrimination led her to become an advocate for and a mentor to those from marginalized communities.

January 2020 - Follow Your Heart

Jeff Weeks shares a rough start to graduate school at Princeton and the story of the creation of his popular book The Shape of Space, as a graduate student!

January 2020 - I am a Depressed Mathematician

Matthew Pons writes about his struggles with depression through graduate school, but also how mathematics and learning has served as an outlet for “finding the positive.”

December 2019 - Invisible Struggles - when the mask stays on at work

Mikael Vejdemo-Johansson shares his experiences with mood instability and masking his struggles in the academy.

November 2019 - I’m Living Proof

silviana amethyst shares her journey from sixth grade multiplicative and additive identities to her adult mathematician and personal identity as she underwent a life-altering transition.

November 2019 - Recovery, Like Mathematics, Turns Out to be Fun!

An anonymous contributor chronicles alcohol abuse to sobriety, all while starting their academic career in Mathematics. Might we move from celebrating “innate talent” in mathematics to encouraging curiosity for inclusion?

October 2019 - Welcome to the Living Proof Blog!

Allison Henrich welcomes everyone to the companion blog, hosted by the American Mathematical Society, as a way for folks to continue sharing their stories of mathematical resilience.